Text Box: Continued from Page one “Christmas Future” Pg 1  Pg 2  www.christmasartgallery.net 
  Bob and Jackie navigate in from across the street with a wheelbarrow this former real estate queen in her blue velvet monogrammed robe clearing a path while instructing Bob on the nuances of driving this one tire wonder, all while applying balm to her lips and then taking a direct pull from an open bottle of Southern Comfort handing it back to the trooper and exclaiming: “that whiskey is smooth.”
    Fresh Turkeys, canned meats, yams, hams, bagged potatoes, fresh celery, limes, lemons, carrots, and breads are offloaded as are trees, stands, prepackaged lights and ornaments. Some of the garrison has cracked open the private stock and is sipping one hundred proof Irish whiskey. A ceramic jug now rests on the hood of the red interceptor plastic cups featuring candy canes, gingerbread men and St. Nick inverted over the bottle neck.
    Thereupon out of one of the lead vehicles he emerges and is quickly united with a huge bag of toys requiring the assistance of two newly converted militia elves to carry into Christine’s House. The Colonel glances at Christine and with a sly grin says, “Where do you want him” Christine replies; “Can he sit by the fireplace? We do have some stockings hanging there.” The Colonel waves his cane in the direction of the back of the home and Santa shaking his bells like a tambourine with one hand while dragging the front of his bag his helpers traipsing behind straining to keep the back of the bag barely elevated off the ground stumble into the house with many of the other children and a couple of housewives in hot pursuit. Christine turns and shouts after her three kids. “Let the others go first. This is our home!” She then spots her other sister Darcy who has now emerged half in and half out of the home and pleads for Darcy to help organize the Santa Fest. Darcy yawns, pops some pills and walks back in after the children.
  The Colonel limps to the back of the trailer and whispers to Christine: “There is something else I want to show you” A guard steps aside and the Colonel lifts a large green tarp revealing shotguns and AK’s. He murmurs to himself: “Where are they.”  The guard produces three “Mac-10’s” with suppressors. He bundles them in a small furniture blanket steps off the back of the trailer and ask Christine where they can hide the weapons. Christine indicates a crawl space above the master bedroom closet. The guard leaves with the blanket and the Colonel taps Christine on the foot with his cane then says: “Darling I want you to give these to your CRF director in the morning as a Christmas present.” Christine replies: “I will, but why are these guns for us” The Colonel responds that they were ordered by a Judge for his private collection but he had second thoughts about delivering them to the “Mormon Cowboy” so he is going to tell the judge that the machine pistols were confiscated at Check Point Charlie at Jones and the 215. Christine ask: “What are you going to do with the rest of those guns” The Colonel replies: “We’re trading them to the Mormons for some silver and gold but mainly food and their famous whiskey crafted in that old distillery in the woods just east of St. George, Yes indeed they will fill the back of this truck with provisions for that stack of weapons and the ammo in the back of that Black Hummer.”
Just then another of the Colonels bodyguards asked:  “What do you want us to do with the surplus including the heating elements, starters and the rest of the food?” The Colonel replies: “Take it inside here! Christine can dole it out to her neighbors based on their need” He gazes at Christine and says: “Darling are you up for this responsibility?” She scans the area looks up to the sky takes a deep breath and responds:  “Yes Colonel I will do my best to be fair and impartial to everyone that asks for help.” The Colonel replies: “Great Christine, that’s all any of us or the good lord could request from you or anyone else during this trial.”  He turns back to the guard and says in a whisper: “Have the men offload it here and stack it neatly in the back of the dining room from floor to ceiling from the back wall forward to the Christmas tree and sorted by food and other provisions.” The guard gestures to the sergeant in charge who nods and they quietly form a fire line to move the balance of the load inside quickly and effortlessly an advantage of a human chain.
   Christine turns back to the street and spies another figure emerging from a still idling Expedition. It is Father Paul now snapping the front of his Cossack while a lit cigarette dangles from his lips. An attending priest and accompanying sacristan Chantel angelic in appearance and perfect for this moment of peace and tranquility this early Christmas morn, places the stole around the neck of Father Paul and then gathers the remaining vestments, chalice, bread and other sacramental necessities for the walk into Christine’s home.
   Paul confronts Christine’s surprised look: with a single word “What”. She exclaims I can’t believe you’re here and starts to cry. Father Paul maneuvers between vehicles to embrace Christine and with her arms extended around the back of each of them Father Paul and the Colonel escort her back into the house.
   Father Paul says: “Isn’t it Christmas Eve” Christine replies: “Well it was a couple of hours ago” Paul questions:  “Do you think it is still Christmas Eve somewhere right now?” She giggles, “Yes in Hawaii and Alaska.” He retorts, “Well then let’s Celebrate Midnight Mass as it must be Christmas Eve somewhere!”
  Inside Christine witnesses her daughter Penelope reaching up and grabbing at the red suit to sit on Santa’s lap. Unbeknownst to Christine almost the whole neighborhood and their guardians have followed them inside. They are watching as Santa greets his last three children for the night. Penelope grabs at Santa’s beard, Santa reaches out to reattach it but Penelope pulls harder and the beard falls to the floor revealing the face of Christine’s husband Ken who as a Marine has been missing in action in Afghanistan for the last three years. Christine gasps and almost in unison the entirety of the gathered gasps too except the Colonel, Father Paul, and Chantel the sacristan.
  Then wild screams are heard for all the way to the front gate.  The relief sentry calls back to inquiry what has happened. The responding house sentry replies “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so we’ll just say it is a family reunion”. The sentry accepts the explanation and commences his beat. Tears well up and then stream down the face of Christine. She embraces her missing husband and the house erupts in applause and wild cheering.
  After everyone calms down Father Paul borrows some red wine from the pantry to use as the sacramental offering and a short time later proceeds to say Midnight Mass at three in the morning the sound of Christmas Carols during communion reverberating off the mountains behind and echoing into the valley beyond the house jammed with neighbors the overflow crowd huddling together inside and out both the front and back doors. People of all faiths happy for each other and celebrating a Christmas like no other in the history of any of their lives.
   The county still cloaked in darkness when Ken and Christine bid their guests a final Merry Christmas and walk the Colonel to his idling and warm Hummer. The radio quiet this early morning a good sign as Ken snaps to attention and salutes the Colonel, The three children now back and viewing the final adieu from their respective windows also salute, the Colonel a tiny tear welling in the corner of his eye returns the salute to the children and then to Ken and then says to Ken: “Now hold that salute” and pins a gold leaf on the lapel of Ken’s shirt and says: “Congratulations! Major.” and then “I love field promotions!” Ken and Christine are shocked and bear hug the Colonel. After a few minutes of Christine attempting to regain composure she says:
  “Colonel, what’s to become of Las Vegas now? He replies well with the change of administration and the defeat of both Shelley Berkley and the Reid’s it looks as though Yucca is back on, especially since our new Mormon president considers the conversion to nuclear energy and energy independence as a national security priority.  The money should start flowing into Nevada to the tune of at least a billion a year and that’s just for the rights to ship the waste products here; It doesn’t include the taxes each state will pay to Nevada for accepting their spent fuel or the tens of thousands of jobs that will be created in maintenance, security and support!
  Let’s face it Christine, the American public is tapped out from gambling for awhile, but keeping the lights on is a different story”.  He chuckles and then adds:  “I heard Shelley Berkley packed her bags abandoned her house and moved to Israel” “I couldn’t believe it when she hosted that bogus forum prior to voting for the health care bill and said something like: “The Insurance companies have had enough time to get their act together What was she thinking? She wanted to become Queen for a district or something. Yeah she wanted to make everyone subservient on her for all of their needs. That’s what happens when they go to Washington. They start believing their own crap and she and her socialist pal’s dam near ruined this economy!” He murmurs: “I never did like her very much.” A voice from the back of the group exclaims: “I thought her wig was going to stand up on its hind legs and beg for a peanut.”[2] The gathered howl with approval and delight and start chanting USA. The Colonel waves his cane in the air stating: “Hey no personal attacks” climbs into his cruiser and winks at the driver while reciting “her hair stood up and begged for a peanut, that’s the funniest damn thing I think I’ve ever heard” He whistles leans back as Ruby and Casper invaluable components of his anti sniper squad and magnificent Chow Chow’s bound up on his lap and squeeze between he and the driver to sit in the back.
    The mother of these twins Cashmere killed in the line of duty also on patrol when at a bridge crossing and checkpoint manned by Republic Del Norte Secessionists impersonating New Mexico Militia, an insurgent leveled a pistol at the Colonel in an assassination attempt. Cashmere bolted through the open window and was shot in the face a second shot grazing the leg of the Colonel before return fire from his bodyguards killed all six intruders. 
  The column forms with the addition of two heavy cruisers now joining the formation. Ken ask: “Where to Colonel?” Who replies: “We’re exchanging guns, I mean presents with a guy named Mormon Jack who happens to be a Jack Mormon. Can you believe it? Can’t be late its Christmas Day!”
  They speed off to a piercing siren blast from the lead vehicle signaling to the front gate to stand clear. They are departing among a throng of cheering neighbors and Darcy modeling her new long johns from inside the house turns her backside through the front door drops the butt flap, bends over and displays “Merry Christmas” painted in lipstick across both cheeks of her derriere the honking of horns and catcalls signaling the approval of the drivers and their militia to her exhibitionism and not so subtle request for affection her winter gift of clothing placed in her stocking by a former Nevada State Trooper now riding with this expedition entering the badlands of Nevada where this convoy was certain to make their scheduled appointments.
  A warthog appears overhead with choppers ferrying two combat patrols flying parallel and adjacent to the speeding trucks now escorting seventeen tractor trailers as they accelerate south and then East to Utah to trade night scopes, shotguns, Russian assault rifles, Chinese AKM’s, a few heavy weapons and transporting three M1A1 Abrams as part of the Extra Wide loads trailing the main formation and guarded by retired special forces now contracted as private security.
  One of the tanks recovered from the Mexican Border now destined for repairs in a heavy machinery shop in St. George. The second tank provided as requested to bolster a checkpoint just inside the Utah border with Nevada and the third tank to exchange for a warehouse stockpiled with  flour, beans, sugar, potatoes, dried meats,  firewood, gasoline, generators, denim, cloth, blankets, sewing machines, teddy bears, wrapped presents, candies and other goodies for an urgent delivery back west to Summerlin, Henderson and Boulder City, Nevada where the Colonel promised he would arrive before the stroke of midnight on this Christmas day.
  Back home Ken and Christine tucked their children into bed and then  frolicked under the Christmas Tree as only Ken and “Barbie” could; a half empty bottle of Johnny Walker Black all that remained of the Colonels fingerprints; a gift from his private stock, a reunion present he called it. They called him a prophet of Almighty God!

www.christmasartgallery.net   all rights reserved 09.12.09
www.askdrchristopher.com   all rights reserved 09.12.04

Can’t Slow Down

In Sympathy:
As we enter this Christmas season we wish to extend our most profound condolences to the men and women who were injured and to the families of those killed in the tragic accident in the nightclub in Perm, Russia. We in the United States suffered an eerily similar tragedy when a mishap and ensuing fire killed many people gathered in a club in Rhode Island several years prior.
May God Bless you and keep you always!
Dr. Christopher

[1] Beach ball with arms reference from a blog posting on the Las Vegas Sun
[2] Beg for a peanut joke by Dennis Miller

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Published 12.14.2009, 12.17.2009, 01.13.2011

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